Discover a tried and tested way for you to achieve happiness in 2006

Imagine being happy all the time. How would your life be different if you were happy all the time? All of us want to be happy. In fact in most polls people say that they want peace and happiness more than anything else in the world. The problem is: most of us are looking in the wrong places. But all has recently been revealed thanks to a multi disciplinary team of six British specialists who span a variety of disciplines from psychology, psychotherapy to economics who embarked on an unusual social experiment. Their unusual challenge? What does it take to make residents of a town happy? During their experiment in Slough, a commuter belt town, twenty two miles from the centre of London they discovered 10 “seeds of happiness”.

Ten things which when you do them all regularly will not only improve your life in your community but will make you happy and contented. What are they? • Plant something and nurture it. When you water and feed plants they grow. When you water and feed the seeds of your interest - they grow. • At the end of each day stop and think how fortunate you are. Think of five things in your life that you are grateful for. • Make time to talk to your partner. Every week sit down for at least an hour and talk with your partner or someone you love. That’s one hour without answering the ‘phone or watching TV or listening to music. One undisrupted hour with your loved one. • Make that ‘phone call that you keep promising yourself you will make. Contact the friend with whom you haven’t spoken for a while. • Treat yourself. Give yourself a treat every day and take the time to really enjoy it. Be good to yourself. This simple act breeds; self confidence and positivity and happiness. • Have a good laugh at least once a day. Laughter helps to stimulate your immune system. Research shows that laughter is important for people who survive a heart attack. It has been found that people are less likely to have a second attack, need less medication and have lower blood pressure if they allow themselves to see and laugh at humorous situations each day. • Exercise. Make the effort to walk, run, jog, swim, whatever for half an hour three times a week. Guaranteed to reduce stress and make you feel good. • Every day smile at and/or say hello to a stranger. Smiling is not only good for the person receiving it also makes you feel good too. • How long do you spend watching TV? Research show that too much TV actually causes unhappiness. So make an effort to cut your viewing time by half. • Every Day do a good turn for someone. Now it's down to you. OUR CHALLENGE Implement the 10 seeds of happiness into your life for two months and see the difference it makes. It works. Good Luck Graham and Julie desktop-meditation. com

How to find your real self again

On the surface it seems an odd idea that you could actually be anything other than who you really are. But from the time we can talk, we’re being programmed to “fit in”. We find ourselves conforming in order to please the people we love, and who love us. But sometimes that means that you have to suppress what you know is the real person inside. And yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone else. If you’re ready to get re-acquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while – yourself – start with these 5 ideas to help you rediscover the real you. Quiet the noise in your head. You know those voices well, the ones that are constantly nagging you to pick up the dry cleaning, talk to the school teacher, juggle the bills, schedule the vet, keep the boss happy. With all that noise going on, it will be impossible for you to hear anything above the din. This MUST be the first step. How do you do that? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing enough extras in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of lack. Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways. In order to do that, you must first believe that you are valuable, and your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined --that’s a lot of talk!—it’s up to YOU to establish the healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say; challenge them; and replace them with facts. Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better success next time.” Listen to your heart. Sounds easy enough, but by the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and go only with our heads. Those two must reconnect in order to find your real self. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of really feeling them. Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask why it’s important. Be careful not to get hung-up on a specific goal. What you’re really after is a feeling -- respect, love, appreciation - as opposed to the company car, or a great guy/girl. Keep an open mind to the feelings, and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies who you really are. The mask will come off and your real self will come shining through. A person you can know and love - you! - is waiting for you to take the time to listen and understand and accept. When you accept your Real Self again, you'll make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually fit who you are. Now, that's what you're really looking for, isn't it?

Control who exactly is being controlled

I was boggled as to what exactly I wanted to share with my article lovers tonight. I had a plan, then one of my members commented in my self esteem website. Well, in short, my mind would not let her comment rest. It was a sentence regarding, "CONTROL". Here it is: "If I can’t trust my spouse to keep their sexual promise to me why am I in this relationship? I don't ever want to "control" another person's life. I choose to believe in the promise until prove otherwise. Positive attracts positive." My first thought was,"WOW"! Does one really feel that they are controlling their mate? How does wanting them to just be with you, become a control factor? How does your wanting to be just the one, become a control factor? How does not wanting them to look, or talk personally to another person, become a control factor? How does making them feel like you are suppose to be the only thing on their minds, become a control factor? How does checking their phone logs, or their computer logs, become a control factor? Is wondering what they are doing at every minute, a control factor? Is questioning them on their every move, a control factor? Is going through their pockets, looking for anything that might lead you to believe they are breaching their commitment to you, a control factor? Is deleting messages, they may receive on their computer, a control factor? Is asking their friends about a certain night out, a control factor? Is tasting them with a kiss when they have been out, a control factor? Hmmmm, how many of these questions, or worries, have you been guilty of? I really have to wonder who it is, that is being controlled with these jealous worries? You or them? I totally feel that jealousy is controlling you; if you can say yes to half of these questions, it is controlling you in a very, very destructive way. You are becoming caught in a vicious circle. You will search, and through that search you are allowing yourself to be controlled each time you apply any of the above thoughts or actions. It's one of those "you are damned if you do, and you are damned if you don`t" situations. To not question and search, you are left to trust and have faith and believe in your relationship. Trust is a hard thing to do when you allow weakness to control your thoughts. To become skeptical with your heart is a very long, lonely journey to nowhere. You have to allow your mind to rest and trust the one you have chosen to give your heart to. Yes it is risky, but that's what love is. Trust, believe, do not control, and most of all feel like you are that special person they chose as a life partner. There are going to be times when your partner will be involved with someone that may feel threatening to you. This is when your partner will know the line. They will know to keep their personals in tact. They will know that to cross that line will only set your relationship up for complication. Another good point that was made by a member of my website was this: "Most of us at some point are sexually attracted to someone other than our spouse but, it's whether or not we act on that attraction that defines our relationship." AND "I have to ask myself though...is it reasonable to control my significant others' friendships, “just in case” they develop a sexual attraction?" This is when the line has to be drawn by both parties. "To be human is to error". I know that sounds like an excuse to fail another. It may be in some instances and it may not be in others. There are so many situations in life, that I can only generalize. Again, "CONTROL" is the word that comes to mind here. The control mentioned above, is of oneself again, but in a positive way. We choose to control that moment of lust or interest; there are many words for it. The choice of control is really what matters in a relationship. The worry of "What if", will always be hovering. This is where our true commitment lies. It is through belief and trust. Is it not sweeter to feel good about the,"US" in our lives? Is it not finer to feel that we can control the negative thoughts and only allow positive thoughts rule our actions? Well then take a positive, "CONTROL" on your thoughts. Let your love guide you. Let your love show you the way to a life of smiles and happiness. Oh and HUGGZ. You all know I am big on those. Huggz are a very nice way to control ones body. It can send messages from one to another in the most pleasant way. So, why I ask, is that not something you would do every second you can? It's like someone saying, "OK, you can eat as much of your favorite food as you want and never gain a single pound". HA, like as if we would not all take advantage of that in this world of restaurants at every foot of the road, that are full every day . Think about that people. So, my question for you to think on tonight is," Do you want to be controlled by you, or do you want to control, you? I will leave you with that thought to ponder and a couple more... HUGGZZZZZZZ plz!! If you CONTROL your thoughts, (your feelings come from your thoughts) then you control your feelings! ******************** You can`t control what goes on outside, but you can always control what goes on inside! Dorothy Lafrinere Owner/Operator Website - http:// womensselfesteem. com Weblog - http:// justblogme. com/Dorothy Forum - http://womenselfesteem. proboards29.com email - dorothy@womensselfesteem. com

Love is the answer sounds trite but it s true

It’s all about love. It may seem trite to say, but its true. Love is where it’s at. What do you want to do in life? It goes easier with love in your heart. Want better relationships, or a better family life? Make sure love is in your heart. Trying to do a better job at work? Do it with love. Trying to make a difference in anything? Start by finding love. Is there pain in your life that needs mending? Love is what heals. Are you lonely; still looking for that special someone? Love will find a way. In a world of pain and anguish, of seemingly endless problems and crises, love is so often forgotten or overlooked. In times of national crisis does anyone advocate love and forgiveness? And how often do you, when faced with interpersonal conflict, remember to keep love in your heart for the person you are facing? This, of course, is not to say that love alone will solve all problems. But it is to say that all approaches to any problem will always resolve quicker and easier and will lead toward healing when love is consciously present. Violence does not stop violence; it only breeds more violence. Period. The scars born of violence do not go away; rather, they fester and return in kind. Love dissipates violence. Not always immediately, but always eventually. This is why the most powerful advocates for peace are the most vocal advocates for love. We need only look at leaders like Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, who both advocated nonviolent protest and loving the enemy, to see that armies may be conquered and systematic repression can be stopped with the use of long-term campaigns of love, kindness, and forgiveness. Again, this is not to say that love alone is a panacea, a magic pill that cures all. It is only to say that all methods and plans for positive change will always work better when there is an undercurrent of conscious loving energy. Love is the one thing that is universally revered as being good for us all, and yet, with tragic consequence, it is so often ignored as a technique for change. Indeed, finding and keeping love in our hearts is the only way to consistently promote and effect healing, on both a personal and a national level. It is fear that drives us to violence, as individuals and as nations. It takes courage to look beyond that fear and to consider that forgiveness and acceptance are necessary elements in any healthy relationship, whether it’s between two people or between two cultures. Fear pushes away; love brings together. Love is the universal element that can be used in any situation where positive change is needed. It is not the only element, but is the element that can be used anytime, anywhere. Love is the answer.

The attitude of gratitude

Yes, it might feel great to win the lottery. Money, houses, travel - these are wonderful, but not enough by themselves. You need the right frame of mind to fully enjoy life. You need the attitude of gratitude. Be Grateful Life is better when you feel blessed, when you can look around and say "Thank you, God." Religious or not, when you see life as a wonderful gift, your experience is a richer one than any amount of money can provide. Imagine going through life like you're a child, and every morning is Christmas. It's tempting to think gratitude comes from having what you want. You see yourself giving thanks if you had money, a loving family, and maybe a house on the beach. Still, you know there are ungrateful, unhappy people with these things, and poor people full of gratitude for what little they have. Where does this feeling come from? Creating Gratitude Gratitude arises from how you look at things. It is the natural feeling that comes from truly appreciating the people and things in your life. It is also something you can learn. First, you have to stop and smell the roses. You can't be thankful for something you don't notice or enjoy. Roses really do smell great, by the way. Then, you need to make this appreciative approach to roses and life a habit. There's no need to ignore the ugliness in the world, but you have to habitually see the beautiful things. Start writing down every positive thing that happens to you, and all the things you like. Do this until you start automatically seeing the good things in life. If you've ever bought a white car, and started seeing white cars all over, you know how awareness can alter your perception of reality. To see wonderful things all over, train yourself to look for them. When you are in the habit of "counting your blessings," gratitude, and a much richer experience of life is the natural result.

What are you really missing out on

Life is all about experience. Most of us have quite a vast intellectual knowledge of the world. Intellectually we know what's available to us as human beings and although most people haven't got everything they want, they at least have an intellectual knowledge of it. They know what exists and they know what is available. There is, however a huge difference between intellectual knowledge and experiential knowledge. We all long to experience the objects of our desire. Knowing simply isn't enough. We want to feel and we want to experience that which we know by engaging all our senses and all of our nervous system to fully comprehend that which exists only as impulses in our minds. Until and unless you actually experience something it will remain an idea and a concept that will always leave you wanting more. Experience is the process by which you turn your intellectual knowledge into a physical experience and when you experience it, it becomes real because you get to feel it in your nervous system. You involve your emotions and, in the process, you get to feel the fullness of a concept turned real and made manifest in reality.

You can know yourself to be kind, but until and unless you do something kind, the idea will remain intellectual and weak. Only when you take the idea and act on it will you create the experience. Having the experience of kindness is what you really want. Experience then is something we create by taking an idea and putting it to use through action.

It is when you use your will to take action when you get to "see" the invisible idea take shape in physical form and through physical experience. We all have a deep seeded need to experience that which we know intellectually and that which we crave to experience through our senses and our emotions. From this point of view we are all constantly striving to experience through our physical bodies and our emotions that which we hold as an idea in our intellect and our minds. The easiest way to turn your ideas into reality is through action. When you use your will you can take any idea and just do it to have the experience of your knowledge.

The real purpose of knowledge is action for what good is knowledge when you can't use it? The challenge for most people is that they are held back by their own limiting beliefs and fears. Fears and limiting beliefs are actually imaginary for the belief that taking action might lead to a specific "bad" outcome is what actually prevents you from taking action. It is the fear that doing "this" will mean "that" or will lead to "that" even though it has not occurred yet (and will most probably not). The reality is that all experience in life happens through contrast. We live in a world that is relative. Everything in life exists in relation to something else and everything in life has it's reciprocal. A wise man once said that someone born blind will never know the meaning of darkness for he's never seen the light. Neale Donald Walsh explains it beautifully in Conversations with God when he said that in the absence of that which is not, that which is, is not. For us to experience anything we must also experience the opposite. Life can never be just a flat and one dimensional experience. It simply does not exist. The challenge is that most people live in the delusion that their lives are in shatters because there are some things they do not like. In reality they are just experiencing the opposite of what they do want. Hot does not exist without cold. There can be no rainbow without the storm. It is in the contrast that we get to truly live life through the experience of both . When you learn to see life experiences as different states of the same thing you can start to really appreciate all of life and truly have the experience of living life. Appreciating and acknowledging that which is not the way you want, will give you a totally different perspective on everything that you do not like in your life, both past and present. Whether you are feeling lonely, depressed, sad or frustrated you can actually start to appreciate these emotions for it's because of them that you can experience love, vitality, joy and passion. Regardless of whether you call something good or bad, experience is what will give you fulfilment in life. You have one incredible gift and that is to take your inner desires and experience them. This gift is the gift of action which is your ability to take an impulse of thought and desire and put it to use. In it's original latin form the word experience actually means to "test" or to "try". When you relinquish your attachment to just experiencing pleasure you will start to see the use and even the meaning of pain for the one creates and defines the other. Experience has no, and needs no attachment to specific outcomes. Although it does not guarantee you a specific outcome, it does guarantee you a rich life that is filled with a multitude of contrasting sensations. Every cell in your body has a "memory" and through experience you get to feel and "record" your intellectual knowledge by engaging all of you. This is the true meaning of "knowing" for it comes with a deep sense of certainty that you feel in your whole body. This is when you "know it in your bones" – it is a deeper understanding that can never come from intellectual knowledge alone. Your world cannot be grasped by contemplation and knowledge alone, but only through action.

The essence of happiness

I will never forget the dedication in the book of one of the most reputable experts on the subject of motivation, the American Dr. David J. Schwartz, The Magic of Thinking Big. When his six-year old son completed kindergarten, Dr. Schwartz asked him what he would like to be when he grew up. Without hesitation, the child replied, “Dad, I want to be a professor.” “A professor? A professor of what?”, Dr. Schwartz asked. “Well, Dad,” his son replied, “I think I want to be a professor of happiness.” “A professor of happiness! That’s a pretty wonderful ambition, don’t you think? To them - David, a fine boy with a grand goal, and to his mother, this book is dedicated.” If we were to ask what light is, we would get the most accurate description from a person who had lost the ability to see, and if we were to ask what freedom is, we would certainly get the best explanation from a person who had lost it. However, I do not believe it necessary to ask anyone what happiness is. Most people think that happiness is a result of personal qualities and circumstances which cannot be measured. For others, the goal of happiness is “all or nothing.” One of the best tennis players in the world, Arancha Sanchez-Vicario, gave the following answer to the question “What is a nice day for you?” “A day that I feel happy.” There is no direct road to happiness, except through our own adaptation and adjustment. But what does that mean? It means that we should not live our lives waiting to become happy, but rather continuously and persistently dedicating ourselves to learning to experience personal happiness. Sometimes people are blind to the happiness around them, and the more opportunities for happiness they get, the unhappier they feel. For truly happy people, time ceases to exist; they seldom peek at their wristwatches. There are no unsolvable problems for the truly happy. They constantly smile and simply live their lives. So what can we do to adapt to this new way of living? We shouldn’t always wonder and ask what we need to do in order to achieve absolute happiness. Sometimes, quite often in fact, we must know what not to do - what we must avoid and distance ourselves from - so that we can become happier. An obstacle for our happiness could be fear of acting wrongly or incorrectly. This is a problem we experience from very early childhood to our golden years. The problem exists because we are used to other people telling us what is proper and improper - what is right and wrong. If we decide to form and develop our happiness ourselves, it is up to us to balance the guiding influence of moral and social conventions with the fundamental freedom of moral self-determination. Regardless of how they connect with our careers, our education, business, family, health, wealth, perfection, glory and power our dreams and desires have their own paths. Once we are able to truly believe that we will find and follow this path, we will certainly become happier. Such faith gives us enormous power, divine guidance and inner strength to walk our path with confidence and accept our challenges with grace. Therefore, we have to learn to strive toward giving our best effort every day, to carefully measure all our thoughts, words or deeds, and to try to realize whether they make us happy or unhappy. The ultimate goal is achieving absolute happiness. Millions of people look for it, but only handfuls create it themselves.

Happiness the ultimate birthright

The key to happiness is both simple and complex. It is the sum total of more than 2,000 years of philosophy, psychology, speculation, and discussion about the meanings and sources of happiness. From Aristotle in 340 B. C. through to the modern thinkers, speakers, and writers of today, this key to happiness has hardly changed. It is the same for virtually all men and women in every country and all walks of life. The key to happiness is this: Dedicate yourself to the development of your natural talents and abilities by doing what you love to do, and doing it better and better in the service of a cause that is greater than yourself. This is a big statement and a big commitment.

Being happy requires that you define your life in your own terms and then throw your whole heart into living your life to the fullest. In a way, happiness requires that you be perfectly selfish in order to develop yourself to a point where you can be unselfish for the rest of your life. YOUR HAPPINESS MUST COME FIRST In Edmond Rostand’s Play Cyrano de Bergerac, Cyrano is asked why he is so intensely individualistic and unconcerned with the opinions and judgments of others. He replies with these wonderful words: “I am what I am because early in life I decided that I would please at least myself in all things.” Your happiness likewise depends upon your ability to please at least yourself in all things. However, most people are reluctant to use their own happiness as the standard by which to judge the events in their lives. This is primarily because we let others define or affect what brings us happiness. And we often believe it is more important to make other people happy than it is to make ourselves happy. This is nonsense. Human beings are happiness-driven organisms. Everything we do in life is oriented toward maintaining and increasing our level of happiness. We are psychologically constructed so that it is impossible for us to be any other way without making ourselves mentally and emotionally ill. The fact is that you can’t give away to anyone else what you don’t have for yourself. Just as you can’t give money to the poor if you don’t have any, you can’t make someone else happy if you yourself are miserable. The very best way to assure the happiness of others is to be happy yourself and then to share your happiness with them. Suffering and self-sacrifice merely depress and discourage other people. If you want to make others happy, start by living the kind of life and doing the kinds of things that make you happy. LET HAPPINESS BE YOUR GUIDE Make happiness the organizing principle of your life. That is, compare every possible action and decision against your standard of happiness to see whether it would make you happier or unhappier. Soon, you will discover that almost all the problems in your life come from choices that you have made — or are currently making — that do not contribute to your happiness. There will of course be countless times when you will have to do little things that don’t make you happy in pursuit of your larger happiness. However, as Earl Nightingale said, “Happiness is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” You feel really happy only when you are moving, stepby - step, toward the accomplishment of clearly defined goals that you feel will enhance the quality of your happiness. Since you can’t be truly happy until you are clear about your inherent possibilities, it’s important that you take some time on a regular basis to analyze yourself and identify your strengths and weaknesses. There is an old saying, “Success leaves tracks.” You can look back on your life and identify who you really are and what you should be doing with your life. One of the best ways to do this is to constantly ask yourself this powerful question: “WHAT ONE GREAT THING WOULD I DARE TO DREAM IF I KNEW I COULD NOT FAIL? rdquo; Imagine that you are absolutely guaranteed success in the pursuit of a particular goal, big or small, shortterm or long-term. Imagine that you have all the money, all the time, all the education, all the contacts, all the resources, and everything else that you could possibly need to achieve any one big goal in life. What would it be? This is a very important question because when you remove the limitation from your thinking, you often get a very clear idea of exactly what you should be doing with your life. Your greatest dream is an indication of your natural abilities and of what is really important to you. All successful men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their fortune could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, goal or purpose. Step-by-step realization of their ideal makes them genuinely happy. LIFE’S 4 CATEGORIES Dr. Viktor Frankl, who wrote the book Man’s Search for Meaning, said that you can divide the thing you do in life into four categories. The first category consists of the things that are hard to learn and hard to do. An example for many people is mathematics. Many of us struggled with math in school and still struggle with bookkeeping, accounting, financial statements, and tax returns as adults. If you find mathematics hard to learn and hard to do, this is the sort of activity for which you are clearly unsuited. No matter how much of it you do, or how good you get at it, you will never achieve any lasting satisfaction or happiness from it. The next category consists of things that are hard to learn but easy to do. Riding a bicycle, driving a car, and tying your shoes are hard to learn but easy to do once you’ve practiced enough. These are seldom the sort of activities that cause you to feel terrific about yourself when you engage in them. They do not demand your best. The third category consists of things that are easy to learn but hard to do. Physical labor falls into this category. Digging a ditch with a shovel and chopping wood with an ax are easy to learn but they are hard to do, and never get any easier. The fourth category is the key. These are things that are easy to learn and easy to do. You seem to have a natural proclivity for them. When you are engaged in this sort of activity, time flies. The things that are easy for you to learn and do are the sort of things that you should be doing with your life. They indicate where your natural talents and abilities lie. Engaging in these activities with your whole heart, and committing yourself to become better and better, will give you all the joy, satisfaction, and happiness you could want in life. HAPPINESS IS NOT AN ACCIDENT Everyone has an area of excellence. Everyone has something that he or she can do in an outstanding fashion. It may take weeks, months, or even years for you to develop yourself in that area so that you can really perform in an extraordinary fashion, but you will be strongly attracted to that sort of activity from the beginning. You will enjoy reading about it and talking about it and thinking about it. You will find yourself admiring people who are outstanding in that area. You will look longingly at that field and wonder what it would be like to be in it and to be successful at it. That is very often your heart’s desire. That area of activity where you can become excellent is probably what you were put on this earth to do. So resolve to persist until you succeed. The first part of courage is the resolve to launch in faith toward your objectives; the second part is your willingness to endure in the face of the inevitable disappointments and setbacks you will encounter on the road. Happiness is not an accident. Happy people are those who deliberately do the things that invariably lead to happiness. Happy people are those who know what they want and then throw their whole hearts into using their unique talents and abilities to make a contribution to the world in the achievement of their goals. You are put on this earth with a special purpose, programmed with unique talents and abilities that have not yet been fully tapped and utilized. When you focus all your energies on unlocking your true potential, you can claim your ultimate birthright: happiness

Be happy happiness is just a matter of mind

Though one could be infinitely happy by just enjoying the nature and family and all the human-made things, there are still millions of people who are unhappy. In the developed countries there is very fortunate circumstance of having both God-given and man-made things. Still majority of people there are unhappy. In the developing countries, where for millions there is a real scarcity of even basic needs, people seem to be happy. There are some people who are engaged in difficult tasks and in warfare, and even incarcerated in prisons, and are still happy!

We have just discussed the factors of happiness. Millions of people have them, still they are unhappy. There are millions of others who don’t have them, yet they are happy! You would realize that the mere availability and abundance of God given and human-made things is not enough. There is something else which should be right to be happy. Of course, it is our mind that must have right attitude towards and capacity to be happy.

Milton in Paradise Lost says, 'The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.' One can give various examples of how mind can influence our body:: • Pavlov’s dog starts salivating at the sound of the bell without any food in sight. • If we are tense we often get headache, backache, and spondylitis, etc. • Heart attacks are directly linked to worry and tension. • Right mental attitude helps in curing many bodily maladies. • By self-talk, motivation, and positive attitude we can become happy and successful. • Through hypnosis one can have command over another person’s mind and body. • Through meditation one can have a healthy body and extra sensory abilities. Mind has extra-ordinary powers and as far as happiness is concerned it has the ultimate power. We should, therefore, have a positive attitude towards life. Instead of concentrating on bad things in life and people, we should concentrate on redeeming features in them. We should not keep on thinking about past failures and bad experiences but be encouraged by our past success and good experiences. Similarly, we should not be unduly anxious about future as our anxiety is not going to have a positive effect, but we should plan and work hard for the future. In whatever circumstances you are, you can never have total lack of God-given and man-made happiness. You cannot completely take away nature from somebody; you cannot take away all man-made things from somebody. Even if everything is taken, one’s family and friends are there. One’s precious body is there. And, even if you chain somebody securely in a dungeon, one’s mind is free. One is free to be happy in one’s mind! Mind is difficult to be mastered by oneself, but it is impossible to be vanquished by anybody, any authority, or whatever conditions or situations. Abraham Lincoln has beautifully expressed it: “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” BE HAPPY!

The secret of happiness

What does happiness mean to you? There’s a lot of searching going on these days for the elusive emotion of “being happy” --where do you find it, how do you create it, even what it actually is. But I’d like to share a little secret with you -- happiness is not just for a lucky few who were born with it. You see, happiness is not something you can reach out and touch or put in the refrigerator and take a sip when you need it. Happiness is not found on a beach in Hawaii (really!) or in a perfect body. It’s not even in that perfect relationship that Tom Cruise tries to sell us in the movies. Yet from the images bombarding you every day, it’s easy to make the mistake that happiness will arrive on your doorstep when you have the latest car, the best clothes, a fancy home, isn’t it? It’s easy to get caught in the trap of thinking that if you could just find the right person, they’d arrive with a box of happiness attached to his/her hip. But all this does is convince you that happiness is something to be found outside of yourself. And that’s where you get off track. Because the secret is that happiness is simply a by-product of creating and living a life that works, a life that you enjoy -- whatever that is. Happiness comes from doing what you what, where you want to do it, who whom you want to do it with. And yes, I can hear all of you -- “But I can’t get the job I want because I’d have to go to school for 8 years, and I have to live here because I can’t afford to move, and what do you mean “who I want to do it with” because I want to hang out with Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey or Bill and Hillary Clinton”. And thank you all for making my point for me. You see, happiness starts by believing you have control over your life; and grows by making choices that will give you a sense of well being, satisfaction. Happiness comes from deciding that you *will* go to school for 8 years if that’s what it takes. That you *will* organize your life until you can afford to move. And that YOU decide who to hug, how much to smile, what music you listen to, and who you hang out with, even if it’s not Bill and Hillary. Happiness is about making the best choices you can about who you spend your time with, how you making your living, how much you learn, what you put into your body. Because when you feel good about the space you’re in, when you’re with people you admire and respect and they admire and respect you, when you’re working on a project that’s meaningful to you -- happiness will shine right through. And that’s no secret. Decide today to stop chasing happiness, and instead choose three things that you love to do, that contribute to your feeling of well-being and satisfaction. Schedule time for them, every day if possible, every week at least. It doesn’t have to be for a long time, just 10 minutes a day will help you create the happiness that you’re looking for. Guaranteed. And that’s no secret either.

Feel those feelings and develop emotional intelligence

There is an old joke about a man who is walking home along the street in the early hours of a weekend and he sees another man, who is obviously very drunk, on his hands and knees, searching for something. “What are you looking for?” he asks the drunked man. “My house keys” the man replies. “Where did you drop them?” he asks. “Two streets away” he slurs. “Why aren’t you looking there then”, he asks, puzzled.

“Because the light’s much better here.” Now, during my initial training and learning, I was quite unsure about myself in many ways! Yes, even me, some may say that I have gone rather extremely the other direction now! I tried lots of the things I learned with self-hypnosis and different aspects of the standard NLP approaches to overcome this uncertainty and lack of confidence in my ability to do what I wanted to do, but none of them seemed to work for me. I still got the butterflies in my tummy and lacked a real sense of confidence, in fact I felt nervous about doing what I wanted to do (what if it all went wrong and I failed!!). I had spent some time fighting the anxious feeling, then one day I said to myself “Adam, just experience it, stop resisting it, stop fighting it; just feel it” and an amazing thing happened. I felt the nervous feeling, then it disappeared! I was shocked. All those previous months and years of fighting it, and all that I really needed to do was to feel it. I acknowledged it and stopped resisting. Doing this is to heighten your own awareness of your own map of the world. One of the presuppositions of NLP is ‘meet people at their map of the world’. This is a process of seeing things from their point of view or being aware of their experience and is a far depper discussion for another time. Now, I was fine at doing this with other people and my successful therapeutic consultancy is over the years has been solid proof to me of that, but before all that started, all those years ago, I suddenly realised that I had not been meeting myself at my map of the world. Whenever I felt feelings that I did not like, I would struggle, resist and fight them, and you know what they say: When you fight with yourself, someone always loses, and that someone is you. So I decided to stop fighting and resisting my feelings and instead to acknowledge them and start working with them. WHere am I going with all this then? If there is a feeling that you find unpleasant or that seems unhelpful or that you just plain don’t like, firstly, map out the feeling. This is just a process of identifying where in your body that feeling is, really locate that feeling in your body. Now think about what size it is, how it moves; I used to have a fluttering feeling in the pit of my tummy that as I reisted it more would spread into my chest and back down again. Really be aware of the feeling physiologically, even think about what temperature it is, you can even take it a step further and think about what colour it would be if it had one etc. While most people profess to know what they are feeling, you would be amazed at how many people have not got in the slightest bit acquainted with the physical characteristics of the emotions they are experiencing, they just let them happen passively without really getting an awareness of them. Emotions are physical (they are chemicals and all sorts of other things too), so the first step is to map out that physicality. Next up, accept the feeling. Become OK with the fact that you are feeling it. For more on how to accept things in your life, again, dig out the article from a previous edition of "Adam Up" that was all about that, it is there in the archive on my website. Of course, this can be a bit of a struggle for some people, who will no doubt say “But I don’t want to feel it” or “I shouldn’t be feeling it.” I know some of you are thinking that. So here is the thing: you are feeling it, and if you want to change the feelings quickly, the most expedient way to do it is to meet yourself at your map of the world and accept that presenting feeling that you are having. If you refuse to do this, then you are just resisting it or fighting it as I was doing back then. Then any attempt to change it will involve starting from where you aren’t, and that rarely works out well (as our tipsy man looking for his keys on the wrong street can attest to.) Then, you find the positive intent. What is your body or your unconscious trying to tell you? Sometimes feelings have a message of some sort for us. Other times, they’re just sensations that our body has some purpose for feeling. What (if anything) is this feeling doing for you or trying to tell you? Then; feel it. Just feel it. Be sure not to struggle or fight, just feel it. Remember to breathe too ;-) You don’t have to do this for long, but it is really good to feel something. Even if it feels bad, the fact that you can feel it means that you are alive (woo-hoo!) and it also means that you are in touch with how you feel. These are both good things to be able to acknowledge and realise within yourself. Often, just accepting and realising a feeling is putting it in a vast different perspective. The final part of this process is to then play with the feeling. Increase the feeling’s intensity. The reduce it. If it was one colour, make it another, if it was moving in a certain direction, move it in another, if it was a certain size, enlarge it or make it smaller, basically, have a play with it and discover just how much influence you have over this feeling. I think you will be surprised when you realise just how much influcence you really do have. One of the things you’ll begin to find as you start to experience is just how much it’s possible for you to get a handle on your feelings. You may well discover for yourself that feelings aren’t true or false. They don’t really mean anything. They are just sensations that you are experiencing in your body. If you resist them, they’ll be there for some time, but if you accept them, you can start to play with them and change them. Does this mean you’ll not have a bad feeling ever again? No. Feelings will come and feelings will go, but what it does mean is that you can start to have more and more of the sorts of feelings you want to have. I know that whatever you are wanting to do in life, you'll be wanting to punctuate your life with more and more good feelings, am I right? So, enjoy your day today and make sure that you are spreading some good feelings into your life.

7 surprisingly quick and easy ways to feel happier

All of us have days when we're out of sorts. You just wish you were in a better mood. You've had days like that, haven't you? Perhaps you tried to get yourself into a better state of mind but struggled to achieve it. Sometimes we get stuck in our own emotional dumps and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood. Many people have found them useful. Some of them may surprise you! 1. Go for a walk. Most people know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. When you are feeling down it is even more beneficial. If you can, go into a natural environment with plants and birds. Can you think of such a setting not? What do you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the sounds of birds, or the sunlight shining through the trees? Make it real by taking a short stroll. 2. Listen to quality music. Music can shift a listener's state within moments. It's effect can be nearly magical. Dig out that CD you haven't listened to in ages or tune in your radio to something you've never listened to before. 3. Open yourself to discovering something new. Read something (printed, not on line) different than what you would normally watch. There are a ton of different types of magazines can you get these days. Visit your local library or browse through a magazine rack. Pick up or buy a magazine you wouldn't normally buy. You may discover something wonderful. 4. Find something to laugh at. Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Find a humorous book, or watch a comedy. Even better, try to learn a few new jokes and tell them to others. 5. Simple breathing meditation. Breathing meditation is a great exercise that you can do anywhere. Simply allow yourself to sit comfortably with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That's all there is to it. Do this for 10-15 minutes. Notice how pleasantly surprised you can be at how you feel afterward. 6. Doodling for the fun of it. Most people can remember when they were young and used to doodle for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures. Drawing is not just for kids or artists. Whoever you are get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw for the fun of it. Notice how your state of mind shifts. 7. Think of others less fortunate. The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than most people on this planet. At times this may be hard to believe, but if you can read and have access to the internet, just those two things alone means you are better off than most people in the world. There are many human beings that barely have access to the basics of survival. There are people in lots of pain. Allow your compassion for them to grow. These are all pretty simple. There's nothing profound or life changing, but when all you need is a quick pick me up these may be just the thing you need. Putting simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques into action will help you achieve change more quick and easily--surprisingly so at time-- than you imagine.

Free tips to increase self confidence

1. DRUNK! At the age of sixteen I was invited out for the evening on a Saturday night to celebrate a friend’s birthday. This for most people would be something to look forward to, for me it was something to dread. Socialising and ordering drinks for somebody who has a stutter is bad enough, but I regularly seemed to bare the brunt of the evening’s jokes about me height, weight and occasionally my bald patch. Even though my friend’s were not doing this to be cruel, I was very paranoid about myself at that age and this banter would hurt.

I had often been out for evenings where I drank alcohol, however up to this point had never been drunk. On this particular night the drink flowed and before long I found myself a little worse for ware. The results of which would later change my life. I found myself talking to lots of different people, some of which I did not know, even girls! My whole character and personality started to change, I was telling jokes and when someone made a comment about my weight for example, I laughed and even came back with a derogatory comment about him, joining in the banter and seemingly enjoying it. My attitude changed, for example instead of thinking that a certain girl might not want me because of my weight, stutter or height, I thought to myself, she will want me, I’m a good person and could make her laugh. My whole outlook was far more positive and my confidence was buzzing. It was a superb and very enjoyable night. The next morning I awoke not feeling the best with a bad hangover. One of the highlights of the previous night was that I had been given a phone number from one of the girls I had met. I told her that I would phone her to arrange a date, however I was now sober, back to my normal self and no did not have the confidence to ring. This girl thinks I am fluent, how would she react if I stutter, I wondered. I went to bed most disappointed with myself but started to analyse the differences between when I had been drunk to when I was sober. The conclusion was obvious, when drunk I can talk, I don’t care about my weight, lack of height etc. When sober I have a lack of confidence and am paranoid about certain aspects about my person. I knew that I could not be drunk 24/7 and that what I needed to do was to become a harder person, less paranoid etc. I had to be mentally drunk all of the time without being physically drunk. I knew this would be hard to achieve but in the future possibly when I was older would be a must. This attitude is hard to achieve, however using some of the following methods became a reality for me a number of years later. 2. YOU HAVE TO START TO LIKE YOURSELF! At the age of twenty-two I decided to as already stated deal with and try to overcome some of the issues in my life. I started to read various books, like mind over matter and positive thinking type books. In one such book it had a line which read: “You need to start to like yourself” I put the book down and starting to think and realised that I didn’t actually like myself. I hated being overweight, shorter than average, having a bald patch and especially having a speech impediment. I carried on reading and it went on to say: “There are various things about one’s self which even though we don’t like we are unable to change, therefore we have to accept them. Other aspects we can change therefore we have to work extremely hard with determination to eradicate them. Once again I put the book down and thought about this. Firstly my height, am I ever going to grow any taller? The answer is no, there is nothing I can do to increase my height at the age of twenty-two therefore I have to accept it. From reading more of the book later I realised that I was being over-sensitive about this and some of my other issues. There are a lot of people out there a lot worse off than I am. Does my current height hurt me in anyway or affect my life in any major negative way, again the answer is no. Secondly, the bald area on my head. As with the above hair is not going to start growing in that area of my scalp, I have had the bald patch since birth and therefore have to accept the fact and even try to like it. Then there is my weight. This is something that I could change, therefore I have to work hard to lose the weight. I have to accept certain sacrifices; such as to eat less fatty foods and be disciplined to reach my target weight, however long it might take. Finally there is my speech impediment. I had had a stutter since the age of four and for me this was the most important of all of my issues. I was not sure if I would be able to achieve fluency, however in my mind believed I could. If I can talk when I am drunk I should be able to talk when I am fluent. I was not going to accept having a stutter for the rest of my life until I had worked hard to eradicate it. Work hard I did and eventually I overcome this major issue in my life. I advise people that the above were my own personal issues and that each individual has to identify there own. It is then a case of accepting the issues which can not be changed and working hard to overcome the ones that can. 3. ATTITUDE I was somebody who wanted to be like by everybody. If anybody criticised me or called me names, I would easily be offended and my confidence would drop. As an example from the age of about seventeen I would go out with my friends most Friday and Saturday nights to public houses and sometimes to a night club. I remember one Saturday morning, aged about eighteen, waking up feeling quite ill, very hung over. I had consumed far too much alcohol on the previous evening. I looked in my wallet and had also spent far too much money. I decided that I would stay in on the Saturday night, just for a change. During the afternoon I had a phone call from a friend called Phil. He asked me where we going that night. After telling him that I was not going out, he called me boring on numerous occasions, offering to lend me money, saying that I had changed etc. I didn’t want him to think of me in this way however stuck to my guns, eventually he put the phone down on me in a mood. Within a few minutes another friend phoned asking why I was not going out, also calling me various names including boring. I ended up going out. At this age I did not have enough respect for myself, I was too concerned what people thought of me and was easily persuaded into doing things and going places that I in didn’t want to. After reading some of the books as mentioned above I realised this and asked myself a question: “Am I boring” I have lots of interests, theatre, cinema, eating out, chess, football, snooker, golf, horse racing, tennis, music to name a few. By this age I was becoming bored of going out drinking alcohol. I decided to be strong and stated to my friends that I was now only going out drinking once a month. Originally, every Friday and Saturday night people would phone asking me if I was going out, if I declined I was criticised, your so boring for example. My new found attitude, though hard at first to adopt and follow through meant that I didn’t really care and I certainly didn’t bow to pressure. One particular friend, Phil, was particularly verbally aggressive and demanding, calling me different names. He was seemingly in shock that someone was standing up to him. On one afternoon I fought back and said to him: “Whatever you say, whatever you call me, I am not going out tonight, however I will go out with you on Tuesday night if you want to” He agreed to this so I asked him if he wanted a game of snooker, or golf, or a trip to the cinema or theatre. He thought all of these options were “boring”. I mentioned other interests of mine such as chess, again all of the options I mentioned he didn’t find interesting. I said to him: “OK, where would you like to go?” “What about the pub for a few beers?” I laughed at Phil and said: “I’m sorry mate you’re the one who is boring not me”. I then put the phone down on him for a change. My attitude was beginning to change for the better. I was becoming harder and stronger mentally. A few years later I met my present fiancee and I soon realised I was a long way off the level I wanted to be. Her name is Sharron and a couple of weeks after we had met she invited me to a night out with some of her friends who she said wanted to meet me. I knew I had to go even though in reality it was the last thing I wanted to do. I was worried what her friends might think of me etc. I did attend and managed to cope, however I was very quiet, felt uncomfortable throughout the evening and felt very nervous. I was glad to get back to the safety of my own home! A couple of weeks later I was invited to meet her parents and immediately I had the same feelings as above and the night passed in a similar way with me having a distinct lack of confidence etc. About a month later Sharron agreed to accompany me to a wedding in Birmingham where I was born. On this day she would meet most of my friends and family for the first time. As we were driving on the motorway I thought she must be a bit nervous. I asked her if she was OK and if she was slightly nervous. She replied: “What have I got to be nervous about?” “Well your meeting my family and friends later. Are you not concerned what they will think of you?” “Steve, I don’t care what they think of me. It’s what you think that counts and I know you like me!” This was not a front she was putting on. Suddenly I realised how far I was away from the attitude to life and attitude to people I wanted to have. Sharron has helped me to reach that level. Being around positive people at this stage was very beneficial to me.

You can shift your reality to include more of what you want

Do you know that you are emitting signals that the universe responds to? It's like we're all emitting radio signals that go out into the universe and match us up with anything on the same wavelength, bringing to us the circumstances and events which make up our lives. The signals you emit are made up of your thoughts, beliefs, and the emotions that these create within you. You're experiences tend to match what you've got your focus upon. You do have the power to affect your experiences by paying attention to what you focus upon. This is where your power is. If you are focused upon the negative aspects of your experience, you will create more of the same, which you then focus on and create more of, and so on in a vicious cycle. Fortunately, this works the other way around too! If you choose to focus on the positive aspects of any experience, you will create more positive aspects you can then focus on, and continue bringing more positive experiences into your life. Even if you can only find one positive aspect to focus on in a situation that has many more negative aspects, and you keep choosing to keep your focus on the one positive part, you will soon see improvement in that situation that will give you more that's positive to focus on. It's a gradual, continual process. And it works! Just because something is how it is, does not mean it has to stay that way! Just because you've had a lot of it in the past, does not mean you're doomed to have more of it in the future! If you don't like it, know that you do have the power to change it. And if you do like it, know that you can create more of it, if you wish to. Gradually shifting your perception to include more of what you do like, opens the flow so more like it can come to you. Over the last few years I have found many incredibly helpful resources to help anyone along the path to greater joy. Now I'm setting up a website to share these resources with others. Wishing you increased satisfaction and more joy! Carrie McLain

Do what feels good and find freedom

A thought is an energy. Energy always wants to manifest itself. Energy can not be stocked or blocked. It will get out anyway. If you do something to prevent your energy from flowing, it will find another way to express itself. If you do not follow your own energy, your intuition, if you swim against the stream of your own flow, energy will express itself in sickness, tiredness, depression, skin diseases, temper tantrums, agressiveness and other not so pleasant things.

So why not follow the road where your energy takes you? This is your road, your way! Do you know the song “I did it my way”? Well, if you do things your way, if you dare being yourself, you will feel the energy. As long as you try to be somebody else to please your parents, peers, husband, wife, boss, children, neighbours or whatever, your energy will be stuck. Ok, you say, but won’t I become selfish, an outlaw, a social disaster by following my own road? No! You will become yourself. That is freedom : to be yourself. See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly. As long as you try to be someone else, you are walking around with a costume that is either too small or too big for you. You don’t feel comfortable in it. And what else is, you “stole” a costume that belongs to someone else! That means you are not at the right place doing the right thing with the right people! You took someone else’s place, someone else’s costume! How can you know if you are at the right place, doing the right thing with the right people? There is a very simple criterion to find out : the questions stop in your mind! This spinning machine in your head that was torturing you for years has just stopped by itself! You can feel it : you feel good, everything is “right”, your talents are asked for and you have the greatest pleasure to offer them to the those around you. Everything falls at his place. Questions vanish and make place for peace. As long as you torture yourself with all these questions, it means you still didn’t find your right spot on earth. You are doing an activity that somebody else should be doing. And your “job” is getting done by someone else who is not at his right place either! You see? It’s like a puzzle : if everyone is at his right place doing the thing he knows the best, everyone would be at peace, filled with energy and health, and everyone would live in wealth. Go searching for your right place. The moment you stop being harassed by so many questions and you feel your energy flowing in your veins, you know this is it! You are on your road, your road to freedom. This IS freedom! Look for it, go for it!

how to reclaim your life s happiness by demolishing the 1 self esteem killer

Copyright 2006 Dr Joe Rubino Extensive studies show that more than 85% of the population suffers from some degree of diminished self-worth, lacking self-esteem and insufficient confidence. For most of the people who lack a positive self-image, the future looks like a mere extension of their troubled past. Their expectation of what is to be is consistent with what has been — with a slight and predictable level of improvement. Because of their lacking self-esteem and confidence, most are resigned to a life that lacks the excitement and passion that characterizes the lives of those who feel worthy of tapping into the best things life has to offer. People who possess a positive self-image typically have an optimistic expectation of what is ahead of them and as a result, they realize this expectation as a self-fulfilling prophesy. In contrast to the state of resignation that typifies those with diminished self-esteem and lacking confidence, consider the possibility that the future lives as the realization of a promise — a promise you make to yourself and to the world. The future will result from your expectations and the quality of your future will be impacted by the commitment you have for it. It lives as a possibility. In other words, you get to invent it. In fact, you are the sole designer and architect of what is to be. And the result will be entirely consistent with your expectation and your self-image. In other words, our future will be directly related to what we expect for it to be. If we doubt our self-worth and expect our future lives to be worse than our current situation, we will sabotage ourselves into making it turn out in alignment with this self-fulfilling prophesy resulting in diminished self-esteem and self-confidence. If we limit our expectations and plan on more of the same results we have to date experienced, our apathy will generate a future consistent with this expectation. To the contrary, if we believe in ourselves and our expectation is that our future will be better than our present situation, self-motivation will result to bring about the positive outcome we envision. If we feel good about ourselves and expect to live happy, fulfilled, and successful lives, we will take the actions consistent with realizing that expectation. We will therefore generate the opportunities that will result in rich relationships, abundance, and joy being attracted to our lives – because we believe we deserve it and act on this belief. We get what we expect and attract prosperity or lack, joy or sorrow, rewarding relationships or angry, frustrating ones all as a result of whether or not we feel worthy. Just as we can doubt our abilities to succeed and our attractiveness as worthy of rewarding friends and intimate relationships, we can also instead choose to take full responsibility for expecting all aspects of our lives to be the way we want them to turn out. Realize that you have consciously or unconsciously attracted everything that shows up in your life to you. If where you are in life, the relationships you have attracted to you, your physical, financial, emotional and spiritual states are not what you desire, decide now to alter your course. Decide that you deserve better. Get in touch with the erroneous decisions you made at an early age. Reframe how you see yourself and resolve to act from a declaration of who you are (just because you say so) instead of the unlovable, somehow defective or unworthy image you made up or bought into long ago. Change your expectations. Design a life plan consistent with your new expectations. Make requests of those who can support your efforts in some way. The future exists for each of us as a possibility. When we do the necessary work to heal our troubled past and put the self-interpretations that do not support us behind, we can courageously decide to design our future lives deliberately to be in alignment with joy, abundance, fun, fulfillment, and self-love. When we train ourselves to first expect positive results and then to act in accordance with what we expect, we set the stage for a bright and promising tomorrow. We have the personal power to create our future on purpose. The future can unfold out of our declaration of how we see ourselves and what we expect it to be like. To the extent that we take responsibility to expect great things in our lives, ensure we give off positive, attractive, loving energy and then get into action to bring about our expectations, we will be the force behind the realization of a rewarding happy future characterized by soaring self-esteem and confidence. So, my challenge for you today is to write out a clear and specific vision of exactly what your life will be like in every area including your relationships, health, wealth and finances, occupation, recreation and social life, and personal and spiritual development. Commit to resolving any past issues that continue to erode how you feel about yourself. I wrote “The Self-Esteem Book” and the accompanying “The Self-Esteem Workbook” to support you to learn the tools that will allow you to reinvent your life and how you see yourself. Know that all that it takes is the courage to begin the process of restoring your personal magnificence and start living full of self-esteem and confidence.

Simple happiness

If you aren't happy, why aren't you? Chances are it is because you want something which you do not have, objects or conditions. This is probably not a good enough reason and a review of your situation and perceptions may be in order. You may have seen video of children in very poor countries laughing and playing, unconcerned that they should have more to be happy about. They are happy because they are playing, because they have their friends and family, and some food to eat that day. Everyone has the right to be happy, and if they can be in their situation, shouldn't you? "Happiness consists more in small conveniences of pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life." - Ben Franklin (1706-1790) Happiness is inside us, in our minds, in our thinking. It is not external material things or experiences, but the enjoyment of our thoughts and feelings. This is good because our thoughts, and therefore our happiness, are up to us. Start by reviewing the things that you have to be happy about and dwell on these. Don't overlook the little or basic things that you take for granted. Make a habit of substituting unhappy thoughts with happy thoughts. Whenever an unfavorable picture enters your mind, eject it and replace it with a pleasant one. We all have some nice experiences to recollect and there are usually little pleasures around us most of the time. You can even imagine enjoyable experiences, and it will have a similar positive effect. "Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you." - Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864) Establish good principles and conduct yourself according to these principles. Love, or at least be tolerant of, your fellow humans. Don't strive too hard for that which, in the end, will not make you happier.

Oprah show series have you let yourself go

We can always count on Oprah. If we need a good book, or a good chocolate, she’s there with a recommendation and, if you happen to be in the audience, a sample. Perhaps Oprah is at her best, however, when you need a swift kick in the bottom - when you need someone telling it like it is, pulling no punches. We turn to Oprah for weight loss advice and inspiration, tips on jeans that don’t make our butts look big, and "girl, no you didn’t" comments on our hair and makeup. So it’s no surprise that Oprah, queen of the TV talk show and the best friend we’ve never met, has turned the makeover show on its head by offering us a series called "Have you let yourself go"? Featuring the stories of real women who feel they’ve let a part of themselves go and wonder how to retrieve it, the series examines the plight of women who say they’ve lost a piece of themselves somewhere along the path. One woman featured on the first episode of the series was Cheryl, who became a mom 4 years ago and feels she’s lost a part of herself to motherhood. "I chose to stay at home", she said in her confessional cam. She pointed to her clothes and hair and noted that she cares little about either and then plaintively said, "I feel I’ve lost a lot of myself." According to oprah. com, 90% of respondents in a recent survey at the website admitted they have let themselves go. The women featured on the series of shows have a variety of life stories to tell, from abuse and weight gain to broken relationships and significant life changes that brought them to a point, they say, of losing themselves and letting themselves go. The Oprah message boards have been buzzing since the first shows aired. Women confess they know exactly how the show guests feel, and share similar stories of putting others first, feeling depressed, gaining weight and feeling hopeless and helpless to put things right. One woman said she lost her job 4 years ago, moved into a contracted job for two years and is now out of work. She identifies, she says, with the issues presented on these Oprah shows. "I feel like I have let knowing who I am go", she wrote. "I have been settling and I don’t want to settle for just anything. I want to get back on track. I need help and I want to make a comeback - Why am I scared to look at myself? I need to bring that to the surface." Oprah doesn’t dwell on people’s problems without offering experts and solutions, and for this series, she offers us Dr. Robin Smith who has suggested a vast reading list to help us in our bid to pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off, and get our new life. Some of the suggested reading includes: - The Woman’s Comfort Book, by Jennifer Louden - The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth, by M. Scott Peck, MD. - Getting the Love You Want, by Harville Hendrix, PhD. - Necessary Losses, by Judith Viorst - The Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beattie - The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, by Don Miguel Ruiz - Family Secrets: The Path to Self-Acceptance and Reunion, by John Bradshaw In this quest to help women renew themselves, Oprah has also brought a personal trainer on board. Jeanette Jenkins offers up daily exercise and eating plans. Visit oprah. com for the plan, or you can download a printable version of it there as well. Finally, the Oprah. com website is also offering an online journaling tool called a "discovery journal". The "Who am I?" journal is designed to help you discover yourself, says Dr. Robin. That, she suggests, might be the first step toward retrieving the part of yourself you thought you lost.

Facing problems in healing the hidden self

If a challenging situation happens in an individual’s life when he or she begins to develop negative thoughts. When this happens, the person often starts to blame self or others, which the self-denial could result to an emotionally disturbance. Into the bargain, energy, strength and dynamism are all arrivals from the conscious mind, yet when disturbances develop, these dynamic energies start to flop. Today, the charts are overriding the count of people that deal with emotional problems that causes unbalance. A range of medical and non-medical rehabilitation solutions have been recently introduced to make the processes of self-healing more effective. Meditation is one of the most unbeaten treatments, which has reaped popularity.

The advantages of meditation are unmatchable to many other strategies used in the past to encourage healing the hidden self. Meditation can help with generating power of the mind. Mediation contributes in curing any illness and in the process, energy is produced, which aids in keeping the therapeutic processes of the body and mind working smoothly. Of course, we have other natural options that can assist us with healing the hidden self. Some of the top picks are the Ayurveda, or the latest naturopathy. Acupressure is very popular and diverse other natural treatments have contributed a great deal in self-healing. This includes the healing of the inner or hidden self.

In fact, these therapies have motivated people’s thinking both spiritually and mentally. The hidden self when motivated can assist with curing the mind and body devoid of any side effects. Other natural healing solutions have proved some worth as well. Some of the oldest, yet new solutions include biofeedback. Biofeedback works with monitoring systems to regulate body functions, such as the heart rate, blood pressure, et cetera. According to experts if we have the power to regulate our body functions, thus it can assist us with self-healing the hidden self.

Neurofeedback is another alternative that has proven to assist with healing the hidden self. Neurofeedback programs have encouraged motivation, inspiration, relaxation, and much more. In fact, we are encouraged to relax often to give the body and mind room to heal. Despite that all of these natural products, programs and solutions has proven to assist with healing the hidden self, it is in fact proven that meditation is ultimately the better choice.

Of course, some people find it difficult to meditate, so they will use other solutions, such as the Neurofeedback to encourage relaxation and meditation. Another natural source is the aromatherapy solutions for healing. Aromatherapy has several types of aromas, which are intended for particular purposes. You can go online to discover the fragrances. Moreover, which aromas can assist you with healing self? Moreover, you may benefit from subliminal learning. By learning how to explore your subliminal mind you can accomplish any goal you set for yourself. We all go through challenges each day. Some of us go through more problems than others do, but each of us has the power within to manage the volume of stress we face.

If you are overwhelmed with stress, your best bet is to set up a stress management solution, and then start practicing natural healing techniques, such as mediation daily to take back control of your life. If your stress is coming from pain, perhaps you can benefit from pain management. Perhaps a combination of biofeedback, Neurofeedback, massage therapy, meditation, aromatherapy, et cetera can do you some good. Don’t rely on unnatural remedies to relax pain, rather practice pain healing the natural way. Go online to learn more solutions for dealing with common problems.

Quiz can money buy happiness

Can riches buy happiness? Wealth can buy many luxuries, but not happiness. Money cannot buy contentment. Money can surely buy us time with a psychiatrist with who we can talk about our unhappiness, but no amount of money can buy us happiness. Sometimes more money, and status can rob us of happiness. Think of many very rich people. They cannot move around like ordinary citizens. They will be immediately stared at. They have lost a lot of freedom in quest of money and fame. What gets us happiness?

We get happiness by doing what we like. We do not get happiness by forcing us to do what we do not want to do. Our happiness comes from our satisfaction of doing our heart felt desires. Our contentment comes from that. Money can destroy friendships, and break family relations. The more money you have, the more people expect from you. If you refuse, your relationship goes downhill. Sometimes I wonder if we have more than our minimum requirement of money, will we be happy at all? If you have a giving nature, money can buy you happiness of a different kind. When you visit an orphanage, and are able to donate as much as they want to feed the small kids, you will feel a sense of genuine happiness. Money can make you do good things in life that make others happy. When you make others happy, you become happy. Money can help you do that. No expensive dinner can make you feel as happy as the smile on the face of parents to whom you have given money for their childrens medicine.

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